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About me

I'm just an ordinary Genius from Oldham. I'm very much like that other famous Oldhamer Brian Cox, except I can't play keyboards and I'm just a touch more intelligent. After a career of being brilliant, I have retired and spending more time on my real passion: Global Domination. I am currently single, have an average sized penis and a car that goes faster than 'shit off a shovel'. Now, in devastating news to my female fans, I say this. Your wasting your time as I'm a Raging Homosexualist. If I was left at the end of humanity with a Lady, I'd be trying to shag the nearest available gloryhole. To the Asian lady that has been stalking since we met on an MSc course, in 2015, I am gay and no amount of homemade curry left on my doorstep, is going to change that fact. Now, Boys/Men. It's your lucky century but I must warn you, I don't do fatties (shut your gob Ben Dudman), mingers or Psychopaths. I've had to work with far too many of them, already.

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